You chose: Who wants to pet ’em for $500?!
I’m naming this one “Cash” and this one “Only!” you triumphantly exclaim as you start stuffing money into you skin tight dungarees. The line to pet the newborn tiger cubs stretches into the parking lot and you have never seen so much money in your entire life.
Just then your phone rings. The caller ID reads “That B*#$h Carole.” It’s your arch enemy who has falsely brainwashed the animal rights people into thinking that you’re exploiting tiger cub petting for your own personal financial gain. All lies! You use a hundred dollar bill to wipe the birthing mucus from your hands and debate whether or not to answer the call.