You chose: Use the cologne

Big Cat Escape presented by Exotic 4

Cologne is like sardine oil to cats. They can’t resist it and you know it.

You douse yourself in the irresistible scent of “Jovan Musk” and the tiger wastes no time moving in for the kill. The beast pounces at you and you calmly remember the brief Aikido lesson that Steven Seagal taught you the last time he visited your park.

You close your eyes, find your center and sidestep the animal ,using its massive weight against it. The tiger doesn’t stand a chance as you quickly and painlessly snap its neck. It’s a public relations nightmare and the animal rights people have a field day.

You never financially recover.