You chose: Take a moment to talk trash to the tiger

Big Cat Escape presented by Exotic 4

“Guess what Motherf*#&er!” You continue to yell profanity at the deaf tiger as the EMTs rush into the tiger cage. You catch a whiff of one the EMT’s cologne and your heart sinks. Tigers cannot resist eating anything that smells of cologne. Obviously.

The striped beast rises and lunges at the EMTs. You get blood all over your sweet bomber jacket. You survive cuz you’re a total bad ass but both EMTs are mauled and then leisurely eaten by the tiger. The lawsuit is a total slam dunk.

You never financially recover.