You chose: Selfies with the placenta are $20 a pop!
You get very few takers for the placenta selfies. You’re positive that you would have gotten way more action from the cub petting but they’re just too young to be separated from their mother and you’re not about to prove that b*#$h Carole right.
By now enough time has passed and your grooms are convinced that you’ve left them stranded at the altar. They go out together for a beer and talk about how they were only marrying you for the meth and they’re totally not into you, or dudes for that matter. In a moment of clarity they get sober and move on with their lives.