You chose: Go to your polygamous wedding

Big Cat Escape presented by Exotic 4

You wisely cut your losses and rush to your wedding, where your handsome grooms are waiting for you, draped in the finest pink blouses Kohl’s had on clearance. The ceremony is beautiful and it’s the happiest day of your life.

Unfortunately, the wise choices you’ve made today have no effect on the crash-and-burn trajectory of your life. After a series of twists and turns you lose your zoo and ultimately end up in jail for 22 years in a murder-for-hire scandal. Sorry, hun.

The animal rights people win.